A womans guide to I do

Love…it’s an incredible feeling. Everyone who doesn’t believe in love who doesn’t aspire to find their true love is surely missing one of the greatest feeling and experience in their life. For me personally Life’s incomplete without experiencing love. When I say Love, I mean the romantic love. As the clichéd’ statement, love makes the world go round… the ones who have experienced true love in their life will say that the cliché’ is so true.

Purpose of Marriage

So is it important for one to find love and live a fruitful married life is all up to individuals. Love or no love, marriage or single, I think we all need companionship. Love, marriage is all about companionship. I believe we will understand the need of a companionship not in our youth, but in our old age. In our youth, we have friends, career, colleagues, our dreams, and interests to keep us company.

In our old age we will mostly become lonely in our world. It is nobody’s fault, that’s a fact of life even if we have children and grandchildren. Our kids will have their priorities, may be their friends, career, their own family to think about. But our life partner will be there with us like a shadow, He will be the only person who will be going through the same things as we do. Our good old friends may not be with us anymore. They may have got separated by time or distance. But our lives after retirement is something we should all invest in and one way of doing it is by having a companion. Then we must take up that book we didn’t get time to read, the hobby we couldn’t find time for. We all must have a retirement plan as to how to keep us occupied by doing something that interests us. Then even that time will pass, where we may not be physically fit to do much. But we are humans, we need to communicate with someone, we need some to talk to us, someone to hold our hands, someone to wipe our tears, some to care for us, someone to say I love you looking into our weak eyes and wrinkled faces. Then we will understand the need to have a companion.

Yet there are bigger truths in life than love and companionship that is the inevitable death. So what if death takes your companion. Then all you have invested goes for a waste, right? Nothing is wasted. The game keeps changing in our lives. The rules are the same. Nothing is constant or guaranteed in life, everything keep changing. Unless we are ready to take risks we cannot enjoy any results. If we start counting our losses, then we will understand that all we had was nothing but losses, so start counting your blessings. Life must go on, it doesn’t stop for anyone. We must live as long as there’s life in our veins. We feel we don’t have a purpose when we lose our dear ones or when we have lost something we dreamt for. But never lose hope. There’s always something God has in store for us.

When I lost my father 10years back, I felt that my life is meaningless and I felt I have nothing to live this life for. No purpose. But I had my faith in the lord that something good will happen in my life and I prayed without cease and today I have my Achachaa (my husband) and I feel complete today. Since he came into my life I feel that I have found the lost part of myself. All these years I felt like a person who kept on drinking water but could never quench his thirst. It is true what Mother Teresa said. “There are more people hungry for love, than for food. Love can be divine, romantic, affectionate, etc. In whatever form, every human heart yearns for love.

So by now if you have decided to have a companion, then what shall you do? Find your love and get married! Many might ask why marry when you can have a lover. Well marriage is what makes love legal that’s all. At least that’s how I see it because to marry it is necessary that one has the qualities of love. Love and marriage is not all that different but yet there are some differences. As much as it is easier to be lovers it is difficult to be good husband and wife, because to be married means to live together under one roof with our families in harmony. Being lovers we live apart or at least we do not have to stay with the family. So how can one have a successful marriage?

The best thing to do for a successful marriage as per my dictionary is marry only for love. Do not marry for the love of money, status, or for anything else. Do not marry because it is your age to marry or because everybody is getting married and you feel you too ought to do so. Please understand marriage is not mandatory in any country. It is a choice. Marry only if you really want to have companionship and love in your life and to experience giving life. Marry only if you can enjoy that journey. Happiness is a journey not a destination. So do not marry because you want to be happy. I am married for the perfection of my life. I’m calling my friends to do the same, marry if you think it can bring perfection to your life. If you do not find marriage to be that cup of tea that can bring perfection in your life, then it surely is not your cup of tea. Marry only when you find that if you really aspire to experience married life and starting a family.

One must understand that there’s a natural course for life. I believe in creation and the purpose of creation very strongly, how nature works and all. As a teenager I used to get irritated whenever I heard people saying one get married at this age, have children by this age etc. But then as I grew up I learnt the why of it. I was not ready to simply accept them just because I knew that’s how the society or elders thought is best. I made sure that I have a brain of my own to think, analyze and make decisions for matters relating to my life.

I asked myself why I am born in this world as a woman. I could have been born as a man too, right? The chances were 50/50. I thought there must be some purpose god would have wanted me to fulfill being a woman, otherwise I wouldn’t have been born as a girl child. I had a strong determination in my mind as a child itself, that I want to be equally good in everything like a man, but in being that I will not forget my feminine quality and motherhood. I understood that a woman’s biological clock is ticking and it is best to have your first new born before hitting 30years. This is not what I am saying. This is what Medical Sciences are telling. I know many couples don’t care to have kids of their own in today’s world. Some doesn’t care to marry, some doesn’t care to have kids and some even after having a family, doesn’t care for them. I understood that my purpose in life si to be the best I can as a human being, the best wife to my husband, the best mother to my children and the best friend, daughter, sister and whichever roles I will be given, be the best of who I am. My dream was not only to be a woman who thinks for herself, who has an identity of her own, who is employed, who contributes to her family…but also to be an equally responsible wife and mother too. I believe a woman isn’t complete without experiencing without having all the above.


Chapter - 1
Lessons I learnt about love & marriage

Now the question that’s in the mind of many would be how I can find a suitable partner for myself. There are many concerns in a woman’s heart when she thinks of marriage. The first thing everyone must know and understand is that there is no manual to successful marriage or in finding your right guy. I will share with you what has worked for me.

1st Lesson – Know what you want

My concerns before marriage were, to find a man who has moral values, a man who really understands marriage and a role of a husband and wife the way I see them. What I was looking for, was a man without any complex, with a strong value system, who can love me beyond my short comings, who can love me deep as an ocean and care for me like a mother, secure me like a father and be my best friend. I sound very demanding I guess. Do not make the mistake of stereotyping or understand what all women or men want by what I want.It is different stroke for different folk. Every human being has different aspiration. The key is to find the one compatible to yours. If you find a man compatible to your personality and understanding, that forms a basic foundation to a successful marriage, so one should start there. Think about what you want. Do you expect your spouse to be a hard core romantic or someone who is less romantic or emotional or more adventurous etc? Always remember to expand your horizon when it comes to understanding love and marriage. I would say listen to all schools of thoughts and then you analyze what it means to u to be in love and what sort of relationship and marriage are you looking for. There’s a saying that “The indispensable first step to getting things you want out of life is this: decide what you want."(BEN STEIN)

2nd Lesson – Communication- The Key

I and my husband started out as friends and soon in about few months time we became good friends and slowly we realized that we have feelings for each other and we were committed to each other for a little over one and a half years before we tied the knot.

But we were not stupid to just commit to each other without getting to know each other when I say getting to know each other, as friends we had a pretty good idea about each other as individuals. But there is definitely a difference in getting to know each other when you want to commit to somebody. Though we were good friends, we didn’t know each other’s expectations about marriage, relationship, each other’s aspiration about their ideal spouses and what does relationship and marriage means to one another. Being friends and then moving on to be Spouses needs a transformation. The transformations will occur in communication, in the level of freedom etc.

Before as friends there were matters we wouldn’t share or speak openly without any inhibitions. Once we found out we have feelings for one another, we made sure we spoke honestly and openly because we knew it will help us to build a healthy, strong foundation for our relationship and will also help us to build TRUST. I believe there are many levels of communication.

A. The First being getting to know each other in a more personal level like one another’s idea of marriage, relationship etc. First find out what you want and secondly find out whether what the other person wants from this relationship is the same as you.

B. Secondly, one should openly communicate our needs, likes, dislikes desires etc. We musts hare anything we feel that we need to in order to instill trust. Especially make sure that your partner knows any past relationships you have had. This is very important for building trust between you and your spouse

As for the matter of transformation in the level of freedom what I like to point out is, as friends we had boundaries. We couldn’t question each other on our individual decision making, on life style choices, etc. Now we can, as we have become family to one another. When we were friends I couldn’t question him on his choices nor could he. Before I did not know what kind of a husband he is aspiring to be and what kind of a wife he is aspiring to have until we shared our thoughts on marriage, love, family, relationships etc. That’s because we chose to have an open communication whether to simply know each other’s likes and dislikes, or when it came to things we didn’t agree or on things that cause the other hurt. From simple to complicated matters we decided to have an open communication. That’s a choice one must make to let your marriage work.

There are things which are important to you, for which you give priority and it may not be the same with the other person. One thing you must understand is this, unless both of you do not have the same priorities, life can be very difficult. Get married to someone who shares same priorities in life. For example in our life Family comes first then comes career. If you give more priority to career than family, there’s nothing wrong in it. Just make sure you marry someone who agrees with you on that matter. That’s all.

I am asking you to communicate not only when you agree with each other, but especially discuss when you do not agree, like the why of it or the how of it. What shall be done so that either wouldn’t be unhappy about the matter? Meeting half-way is always the best choice.

Let me tell you don’t give up just because you do not agree with him on certain matters. Try to work it out, because if you are already giving up on a person after few disagreements, then one will not succeed in a marriage. Marriage calls for perseverance and a strong belief in oneself, belief in the other person as well as about the relationship. A positive thinking and a proactive mind or I can self-affirmation that things will work out between the two and then your marriage will work.

So my first advice to those who are aspiring to get married would be getting to know each other. Talk openly and most importantly honestly about your thoughts and views. Communication is the key. And most importantly have the heart of perseverance.




Chapter- 2
Understanding What Marriage really means!

You can have just a boy friend or girl friend or have a live in relationship with your partner. Times have changed and people have their own definitions about marriage these days. But I just want to tell my readers that please try to understand what marriage really is about rather than coming up with one’s own version of it. The way I see marriage is like this. Being Girl friend, boy fiend is not marriage nor is a live-in relationship Marriage’s something entirely different.

I believe in order to understand what marriage is all about, one need to start at the source of it and ask questions like why it was created and for whom and for what, then only one can truly understand the meaning of marriage.

Marriage is an institution invented by God not by man. That is proved with the creation of man and woman. It is explained why the man and woman was created in the beginning. So when he made this institution it has some purpose and few things are better accepted as they are in marriage rather than fighting against it. Let’s understand what marriage is all about.

Marriage-The Bible Way

I truly believe what’s written in Bible about marriage and how the relationship between a husband and wife should be. If one can honestly try their best to live according to the Bible, I would say Bible holds the secret key for a successful marriage.
I want my readers not to shun away from this article because my views are based on my religious believes. I am a Christian not just by birth, but by choice also. Just keep an open mind and read the following references.

(Bible references Genesis: 1Corinth:13, Proverb: 31, Ephesians: 5:25-33. Article Ref: Letter from God to woman)

Genesis 2:18-24 (New International Version, ©2011)

18 The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” 19 Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.

But for Adam[a] no suitable helper was found. 21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs[b] and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib[c] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
23 The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.”
24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

1 Corinthians 13 (New International Version, ©2011)

1 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child; I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Proverbs:31:10-31

10 [b]A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.


Ephesians 5:25-33 (New International Version, ©2011)
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[b] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Article: Letter from God to Woman

Dear Woman,

When I created the heavens and the earth, I spoke them into being. When I created man, I formed him and breathed life into his nostrils. But you woman, I fashioned after I breathed the breath of life into man because your nostrils are too delicate. I allowed a deep sleep to come over him so I could patiently and perfectly fashion you.

Man was put to sleep so that he could not interfere with the creativity. From one bone I fashioned you. I chose the bone that protects his heart and his lungs and supports him, as you are meant to do. Around this one bone I shaped you. I modeled you. I created you perfectly and beautifully. Your characteristics are as the rib, strong yet delicate and fragile. You provide protection for the most delicate organ in man, his heart. His heart is the center of his being; his lungs hold the breath of life. The rib cage will allow itself to be broken before it will allow damage to the heart.
Support the man as the rib cage supports the body. You were not taken from his feet, to be under him, nor were you taken from his head, to be above him. You were taken from his side, to stand beside him and be held close to his side.

You are My perfect angel. You are My beautiful little girl. You have grown to be a splendid woman of excellence, and My eyes fill when I see the virtues in your heart. Your eyes – don’t change them. Your lips – how lovely when they part in prayer. Your nose, so perfect in form, your hands so gentle in touch. I’ve caressed your face in your deepest sleep; I’ve held your heart close to mine.

Of all that lives and breathes, you are the most like Me. Adam walked with Me in the cool of the day and yet he was lonely. He could not see Me or touch Me. He could only feel Me.

So everything I wanted Adam to share and experience with Me,
I fashioned in you: My holiness, My strength, My purity, My love, My protection and support. You are special because you are the extension of Me.

Man represents My image, woman My emotions. Together you represent the totality of God. So man – treat woman well. Love her, respect her, for she is fragile. In hurting her, you hurt Me. What you do to her, you do to Me. In crushing her, you only damage your own heart, the heart of your Father, and the heart of her Father.

Woman, support man. In humility, show him the power of emotion I have given you. In gentle quietness show your strength. In love, show him that you are the rib that protects his inner self.



If you analyze what’s said in 1corinth:13, then one will have a pretty good idea how our love should be. It talks about all the qualities of love. Then if u analyzes Proverbs: 31. It shows what kind of woman God wants each one of us to be- a capable woman. Then in the article, it shows the respect and position woman deserves. If you look closely in Genesis, you will understand why we were created as men and women and what is the purpose of marriage and what does marriage really mean. And in Ephesians it is clearly told how should a husband love her wife and how should a wife love her husband. In Ephesians, it says wives, be obedient to your husbands. It doesn’t mean we have to be slaves to our husbands, but we shall do all things out of love for our husbands and the husbands are asked to love their wives like how Christ loved the church. The way Christ loved church is by purifying her from all her sins and his love was flawless. So the command God has for men are much tough than the command God gave wives which is to obey their husbands. Imagine how we are submissive to our parents. Does that mean we are slaves to them? In that same way we must submit ourselves to our husbands. Similarly, how parents love their children, so shall the husband his wife. Parents love their children regardless of their mistakes and they love you no matter what.


Women’s Role in Marriage & Family

From all the above readings what we can understand is that Woman has a purpose to serve just like men and a woman needs to be respected loved and be treated equal to men.
I feel that in many marriages why woman gets ill-treated or misused is partly because woman doesn’t realize her purpose and strength. I had a question in my mind. Does all men dominate woman? Those men who have ego or insecurity try to dominate a woman. What if your partner has ego? In those situations, if the woman doesn’t realize her purpose and strength her husband will continue to dominate her. I am not telling my sisters out there to beat up their husbands. Woman must learn to stand up for themselves.
I know many of my friends are hesitant to get married because they are concerned about a number of things. Even I was concerned that will there be men out there who share a similar outlook to marriage and family like mine. I feel that men need to understand that women are made equal to them by God and they deserve the same respect. Women need to realize their strengths and purpose and wake up from our sleeps. Both needs to know that a woman is equally capable like any other man out there. Also men and women need to realize their purpose in life and their roles as husband and wives. It is beautifully explained in the references and if one is willing to live by those golden verses, then one’s marriage will stand against all tolls of life.

But there’s one thing I would like to point out. I have been talking about equality in marriage. So in crisis or in a fight, what if your husband gives you a nice tight slap, should you give him one back? What does equality mean really? If the husband had given his wife equal respect as himself, he wouldn’t have slapped her in the first place. But we are all humans and human nature is to err. Then consider the husband made a mistake, does equality call for a slap back? Here giving back a slap wouldn’t fix anything. Not only that, it will make matters worse. Why? Here’s the truth. There are a few things a man will not endure not even once, getting insulted by his wife especially physical abuse. It hurts his ego. So don’t we woman have the same ego? Of course we do, but a man has a bigger ego than woman; in the sense that his ego is much more sensitive than a woman’s ego. Just be careful about that. Likewise there must be something else in which another man’s ego is sensitive about.

As men and women we all have flaws. The key is how we tame each other’s flaws and live harmoniously. Both husband and wife should learn to live with each other’s flaws. None of us are married or going to get married to a perfect man out there. It is a skill, to know your partners’ flaws and make adjustments accordingly.

Life is not without struggles, tests and tears. Each life has its own struggles to win over. Being married is not just about romance and happy times. It is the romance and the rewards of love what make marriage worth the troubles we endure. I am not saying marriage is trouble. No pain, no gain is a rule applicable in marriage too. I feel that some people think of marriage as a fantasy while others look at it as slavery or burden. Well it is as real as the world we live in filled with laughter, tears, good times, bad times, responsibilities, dependency, independency etc. Marriage is not about giving up on your freedom and submitting to someone else. There’s a freedom in marriage. It is not a matter of freedom. Marriage has rules. I do not think having rules can be considered slavery. Everyone whether married or single has their own limits. Then how’s single life and married life different. For men and women the rules are same unlike some might interpret. So what are the rules? If one understand what marriage is all about, then one can know what does marriage demands and what will be the rewards.

Marriage is about companionship. And that’s something people do not understand. Like any other relationship in our life, marriage also needs one to be patient, kind, faithful, caring and giving. The only difference is that in our single life, our parents hold most of these qualities. We build friendship with trust and with all the above said things. We need not see this relationship any different except for few things.

First thing, above all relationships once married your spouse comes first. Prioritize your relationships. Always your family comes first. Now your family includes your spouse too. I am not asking anyone to choose between your spouse and other family members. That’s not a choice. But it is the fact that your spouse comes before your own parents’ siblings or friends. One needs to worry about only being just to all. Stand for the right things for that you need not look at the relationship. Both husband and wife should have the courage to accept their mistakes and must be supportive at the same time. If you find your parents wrong, you must say they are wrong or if your wife or husband is wrong you must say that and vice versa. Both husband and wife should not be egoistic when it comes to marriage. No one is above each other. Both wives and husband are made to be equal. Ego is the villain. Kill ego. Ego is good when our self-esteem gets hurt, but those kinds of things happens or should not happen more than once or twice in our life.

A woman must form her own identity and voice in life. She must be self-sufficient, financially independent and must realize this. I have heard some women saying “in a wife’s life there’s no right and wrong, there’s only one right, that’s her husband”. I feel sad, not pity. Simply sad for that sort of woman, because she doesn’t realize herself, her identity, that she is equally a human being with the same strength, ideas, dreams, inspiration, talent, emotions like a man and she is as real as any man. She has equal potential, possibility and existence like any other man. Opening our eyes to our inner self is what gives us purpose to live our life. Knowing oneself is the best knowledge or the first knowledge one should have.

Once a woman understands her potentials, she can have a much fulfilling life whether she is married or single. It is essential to have self-knowledge. We all have multiple roles to play in this one life. We are somebody’s son or daughter, sister or brother, husband or wife etc. Knowing oneself will help us to be better at our relationships with one another.

I don’t know what worries my dear female friends from getting married. I guess some are worried about the family they will be moving into, some may be about the person himself. I believe times have changed a lot. Our generation has grown up listening to the stories of our parent time stories of domestic issues between mother-in-laws and daughter laws. Then we heard many stories about how many women were treated with less respect by husbands and in many families woman have no freedom of expression. But to a large extend times have changed. Now both men and their families are open minded and are much wise and understanding. The important thing is that we make sure that we go into a family that suites our attitude. I am sure most woman of our generation wants to be part of a family that is devoid of any insecurities or egos.

Once we find our compatible husband, the next task is adjusting with his family. Our culture demands that too. I am proud of that culture. I believe that we need to take care of our parents, not abandon them once we are married and it is applicable to both to a son and a daughter. Our social system is such that the son should take responsibility of taking care of the parents, but I would say the responsibility is equal. Through our marriage now 2 families have become one and that’s how it should function from the time we get married. There are certain facts about married life which we fail to make note of. These should be looked at as universal truths, as there’s no right and wrong in it.

1. A man must leave his parents and become one with his wife in mind and body. And I believe it is equally applicable to woman. As much as possible at least for a couple of years it is best the couple stay alone in a house to build a bond. Or they must be allowed to spend as much as time with each together as possible.
2. We (both husband and wife) cannot take the same freedom with our in laws as we can with our own parents, because blood is thicker than water. It becomes more applicable to a woman as she goes and stays with the husband’s family. Because our own blood will love, understand forgive and forget faster and easily than to anyone else.
3. NO EGO- it is a must when playing this game
4. Husband must love wife as much as he loves his own body and wife must obey her husband. It is when this rule is not kept small arguments and fights happen. But above all comes the heart to love, forgive and forget beyond one another’s shortcomings.
Marital Problems & Women

Many women just sit in their pot-holes and like to blame their fate and I pity those women. I am not out rightly disrespecting any woman’s feelings, because I know there are many women who get physically, sexually and mentally abused by their husbands.
I know many women can’t get out of an abusive relationship mostly because they are not self-sufficient, financially independent and they do not have an identity of their own to live by in this world. All women need these 3 things. It is when these things are missing we are not able to strike back or get stuck in such situations. I hear a lot of people saying especially from the older generation that in olden day’s woman were much modest and they wouldn’t react to any domestic problems but will continue to endure all the problems in a marriage and they are called great and sacrificing. But I do not respect a woman who doesn’t respect her own dignity and self-esteem. Sure we need to be patient forgiving compromising and caring. But I will never tell a woman who get physically and mentally tortured by a husband what great sacrifice she is doing for her children.


If your husband is an irrational human being, then I don’t think there is any point in trying to change him, but if he has some sense left, then one should always give a try for counseling and try to save their marriage not only for your children’s sake but also for your own sake.

The foundation of a successful marriage lies in the compatibility between a husband and wife. The word compatibility means capable of existing or performing in harmonious, agreeable, or congenial combination with another or others. In other words, capable of orderly, efficient integration and operation with other elements in a system with no modification or conversion required. Those who really aspire to find a compatible spouse and those who live a fulfilling married life as it is quoted in Bible, once cannot go wrong or end up in a dysfunctional family. I believe that Gold only helps a man who can help himself. Also it is a joint-venture between God and us. In a world where people turn strange day by day, and when the moral values are going down by minutes, one needs to have a strong support system of prayer, guidance and faith to find the right guy or girl out there. I had faith in God that he will find me my life partner. God found me the man of dreams. He may not be perfect, but he is the kind of man I aspired to marry.