What I Liked About "The Kabab Maker & The Consultant"

When I picked up this book, I was new to the author and I chose to buy this book only because I found the title of the book very interesting.  Even after reading the back cover of the book I thought the entire book must be about what the title says. But mistakenly, but in a good way it wasn’t and I am glad I could thoroughly enjoy the short stories author Mr. Arum Sikka has narrated in his book.

When I finished reading the first chapter named Derailed; I was a bit confused. I felt I was reading from the mid section of a book because I felt I was missing something. But I turned to the second chapter New moon and by the time I finished it; I wanted to read more about it and felt a bit sad that I couldn’t read more of that story.

The third chapter of course was the book’s title story and it was a fascinating one as the name and it will make us laugh and think at the same time. The Fourth Chapter ‘Three Women in a Kitchen” and the tenth one named ‘Flowers that Blush Unseen’ made me think about people from different genera’s of life and how they get along sometimes and how they help out one another and how tough times brings together people who are good at heart and we see in them something we have missed to see before.

I loved the way how the author has presented corruption , injustice and immorality with a clear sense of humor and has shed light on the age old saying of how good triumphing over evil in Chapters ‘Oh, to sing the songs I Like’, ‘Savior’, ‘ A holy War’& ‘Ambush’.

The 11^th Chapter in the book ‘ The Journey is the destination’ was really touching. The last chapter in the book ‘The Gift of Giving’ left me a little disappointed like the first one. I wanted something more out of it.

The chapter that entertained me the most was ‘Three journeys randomly taken & God’s will’. After reading this particular chapter I felt as if I just watched a movie, the experience was really thrilling and I loved every single moment of it.

All in all I would recommend my friends to read this book by Mr. Sikka. It is like small capsules of wisdom coated stories; a book worth investing in. It was lovely reading and I as a common reader would give him 4 Out of 5.

Arranged Vs Love

For me it has been nothing short of a movie experience, falling in love. As a teenager itself I greatly doubted the idea of an arranged marriage. I couldn’t reason with the idea of judging a person by certain external factors and later commit to the one I think would make a great companion after just talking to him less than an hour or so. I don’t know how my sis did it or my parents. May be they just took the plunge trusting God that it would all be made well.

Somehow I couldn’t take that plunge.  Not that I do not have faith in God. But I believe God will do his part, when we do our part. My intuition was not to stand around and just go with the flow.  I had a stirring feeling that I must know the person I get married to beforehand. In a country like India the term dating or even to an extend having boyfriend girl friend is considered taboo.  I could be wrong and things might be a little better than what it sounds like. Anyhow for my family and the community I belonged, it was viewed as if we have done something wrong. But I was never so concerned what others thought as long as I felt my conscience is right. So I always told my mom, I will have a love marriage. Mother always replied me like this-if the proposal is from a Good family, then no worries we will support you to get married.

During school and graduation I was not interested for a relationship for I felt, it was not the time for love, but the time to build friendships, make lots of fun memories and gather knowledge. It was during my final year of PGDBM, I would tell myself, God, I think my turn is coming next for marriage, but I cannot do an arranged marriage. I absolutely hate to be treated like a puppet. I refuse to be treated like objects were people quote price for me, my education and for my family wealth or culture or whatever.  I cannot dress up and stand in front of strangers whose complete attention would be on me. I felt like running away, whenever I thought about arranged marriage and it’s never ending nonsensical traditions.

I had some expectations about marriage and my future partner in life. I have heard some people asking what sort of a person one want to marry based on his profession. Isn’t that stupid? Does it really matter whether your husband is a business man or a professor??? Yes it would matter for those who want to marry for money and high income life style, but not me. Not that I would have married someone off the street because that’s beyond stupidity. I had a realistic expectation about whom or what sort of person I wanted to marry .I knew that almost no one in my family would agree on these facts.

There were 3 things I had in my mind. A Person who will love me beyond my mistakes and faults, a person who shares a same life style as mine and a person who will support my dreams and aspirations. I cannot change the person who I am but I can accommodate others into my life without changing who I really am. I knew exactly the kind of person I am. Self-knowledge is more important than any other knowledge. Finding the right partner for myself, I understood that I must first know myself then only I can understand another person.

Traditionally in my family, when you get a proposal there are few matters of discussion. First what is the girl’s or guy’s qualification? Second, where’s she/he working and how much does she/he get paid? For a girl the career question would start a little different. Is the girl working or not? Then they want to know about the siblings, the parents, who all are working and where, the family history etc. Not saying these things are bad thing, it is good if you are from a known family or if you belong to a family that has high education or belong to a class apart whatever. But these are secondary issues for me.

Forget about when you get a proposal. Before that you advertise yourself for a life companion which sounds so weird for me. We do not advertise to make friends or family. Then why advertise for marriage? And the matter of ad is embarrassing. You introduce yourself with your complexion, spirituality, education, job, family or religious background etc. Lord, I cannot imagine myself being in one of those ads and all thanks to God that I didn’t have to. My intention is not to insult or degrade anyone who have had or planning to have an arranged marriage. I am not saying arranged marriage is wrong or love marriage is right. I am only telling what’s been best for me.

Though I have had a love marriage; I married with everybody’s consent and blessings. I am totally against people who want to or think of eloping. It was tough to convince everybody in my family to agree for my marriage, but finally it happened. Love is not blind as the saying goes. I would say Love should not be blind if you ask me. Love should be realistic and practical; thinking of the welfare of all involved in.  

Never abandon your loved ones. In our Indian society marriage is not among just 2 individuals it happens between two families. We need to keep that in mind. There have been times when I and husband almost felt defeated trying to convince my family. But not even once we discussed about getting married secretly or eloping etc. because that is not what we wanted. Both of us couldn’t do that to our families. They are the people who raised us and they have loved us since the day we were born to this day and how can we ever abandon their love for somebody else’s love.

Yes, I admit I might have hurt my mother’s feelings, my sister’s feelings and the rest of my family member’s feelings to some extend when I wanted to marry the person of my choice and not theirs. Not that their choice was not good enough. My priorities in life were different from theirs, there for our choices differed too. I believe self-knowledge is the best knowledge in the world and if you know yourself well, you can also know what you want in life too better than anybody.

And today everyone who said anything negative about my husband before my marriage has only good things to say about him and his family. I knew this day would come. Even when he got upset how poorly people misjudged him and his family without getting to know them; I assured him that; a day would come were on everybody’s tongue they will have only praises for you and your family. Everybody in my family had concerns, some doubted whether I would be able to adjust with him and his family. Some felt he is not good enough for me. I knew what I would be gaining and what I would be missing out on by getting married to him. I have gained a loving family. That’s something really important and a blessing.

Whether arranged or love, according to me one must try to get to know each other in the given circumstances. That’s what’s important. Above all one need to marry the person for love and not for any of the ideas mentioned in a matrimonial ad. The kind of love that brings perfection to your life!

I am not typical.

Something I have always claimed is that I am not a typical malayalee or mallu as popularly known us. I hate that word actually ’MALLU’ I don’t know about others, but for me it sounds more negative than positive so I will not be using that word here after.

But each time I have commented on somebody as a typical malayalee, my hubby smiles sarcastically asking me who the hell am I then? Here I am not stressing the word malayalee, rather the word typical. I have not or ever will deny that I am a Keralite and I am proud of my state but not so proud of the people. Of course we malaylees are blessed with a number of things and have reasons to be proud of ourselves compared to many other states of our Nation. There is a joke that any country we go, there will be at least one malayalee there. Compared to many states, we are much educated, we have schools and colleges all over the state, people have a higher standard of living, there’s not any discrimination in the name of class, creed, religion etc. But we have failed to provide jobs for the highly educated and talented people. We have failed to instill in our young citizens of tomorrow moral values and spirituality. We have been so keen on making our kids smart, intelligent and bright; we forgot them to teach humanity. We don’t open our economy for trade and setting up large scale business for of course some valid reason like environmental pollution etc., but a lot more for no reasons. Now we are suffering the consequences.  We taught only doing white collar jobs are decent, so today we have no blue collar workers in our society and we are paying the price of it. No one is financially poor in our state anymore, but spiritually a lot more are poorer than ever. Well these are areas we need improvement.  We claim that we are much civilized and cultured and feel really proud of our culture, but the vulgarities in our culture that’s what I am talking about in this article.

I hate type casting people. It might look like to you that I myself am stereotyping people by calling others typical malayalee. But I am not. I just want them to see why I call them so. I’ll explain in this article what typical malayalee means to me.  

Some months back I was talking to one of my friends about a proposal that came to her and she told me that in a discussion with one of her close friends she told him that he found the guy a typical malayalee. Then her friend told what do you mean by he is a typical malayalee, for all you know may be you too fit in that typical malayalee section. Well I do not want to comment on that particular discussion.

  I guess what I keep saying of a typical malayalee is someone who has an average thinking; someone who doesn’t have the openness to accept other culture, people who are different from him; someone who thinks less of woman, someone who spends more time in finding fault with others than himself and the characteristics goes on and on.

 Let me further explain my above statements. I see regularly people commenting about Santosh Pandit, Ranjini Haridas, Prithviraj, all made famous or infamous by our own community. When Santosh Pandit came out with his silly film, why people had to abuse him so much? Not only that what he has made is up to any standards but also was just plain stupidity and dumb. I am not defending Santosh Pandit, but I cannot understand these people who wouldn’t stop abusing him. Now what does that tell about our culture and standard? They cheer and bad mouth the same person at their will. 

Ranjini Haridas is another person people love to hate. As a comparer I acknowledge that she has done wonders for the Malayalam television and has raised the standard.  I am glad someone among us has come up to make every one of us proud in world stages with her presence.  But like anyone else, me and you she too has her flaws. I personally feel that she needs to brush up her body language while on stage and she lacks the Malayalam slang that is working against her. But she is trying and we can see that.  Other than that I don’t see anything in her to bash her up like everybody else we see on Facebook and in other platforms.  Prithviraj made the mistake of praising himself in front of thousands of people by saying he can speak far better English than anyone else in the Malayalam film fraternity. I don’t agree with his statement. But the question is why were people so hung upon that one statement of him throughout a year. In this world and especially in the world of cinema controversies are born every second and people talk about it for a while and move on to the next, what was so controversial in Prithviraj’s statement that people keep bashing him for an entire year? I don’t have answers to these questions.

My questions don’t end here. I don’t know why this so called typical malayalee think poorly or more like terrible about those who cannot speak Malayalam.  I have cousins born and brought up in north India and they can speak only broken Malayalam. I know why the family settled in Coimbatore than in Kerala. I have seen them experiencing that isolated treatment from others whenever they came to visit us in Kerala. The first question many of our relatives used to ask them is “Malayalam ariyathilla alley?” meaning oh...so you don’t know Malayalam, right? Now why do they have to do that?  Such question would pull anybody’s esteem down and make them feel bad.  Don’t people have the minimum common sense? Imagine if you and every other malayalee who lives in Kerala was not born in Kerala and brought up in some other part of our country where everyone speaks some other language; can we be expected to speak fluent Malayalam? We must remember we will be judged by the same measure as we judge others and that’s exactly why people from the north keeping quizzing us why people in Kerala can’t speak Hindi fluently even after Hindi being the national language. Same situation, we don’t use Hindi much, because we don’t have to. We can run our lives speaking only Malayalam. It doesn’t end here, typical malayalees also hate those who are malaylees and who knows Malayalam choose to speak in English or any other language. Now why is that? Personally I have experienced this discrimination. I agree that there might be people who want to show off, their accent or their language skill. But not everybody has the same intention. But what these typical malaylees forget is that English is a language that’s used universally and we all use it in our daily lives. It has become a must in the global world. Then why treat people who speak the language so badly?

The typical malayalees are so keen in making fun of people who wear anything other than traditional clothes. Fine influence is there in many movies and classical comedy shows that come on television.  I agree there are popes who reveal a little too much, but the moment a girl wearing jeans walks in the mood of people get shifted. May be things have changed a lot, but I am talking about the so called typical malayalees alone and they still exist. Men and women alike form part of this group. I studied in a girls only school for more than 8 years and it was considered taboo to wear modern outfits. The teachers had really bad impression about students who are from NRI families because of several above mentioned reasons. They too were isolated for not speaking good Malayalam, for speaking English, for dressing in modern outfits etc. The typical malaylees basically despises anyone and everyone who is different from him. They are not able to accept and more over enjoy other people’s difference.

 People don’t know how to respect another individual’s personal space. I will give you a fine example. Once you finish your college people will start with the question, where are you working? If you are already employed, they will start with are you married? If married they will start with the question how many kids? If you already have kid, then why just one Oh…God were do these people get off? My father passed away 11 years back since then the people living in and around our home are more curious to know from where we are earning, how much wealth we have, how bad is our health etc. etc. They have no shame and they ask straight to your face as if asking how you doing.  Many times people have asked how do we run our expenses, who pays for us? I mean what sort of an insulting question is that? It is true what my brother in law says. When something tragic happens in our lives, it is our own relatives who keep us depressed by asking about it every now and then.

The typical malayalees can either be narrow minded or acts so open minded he makes a fool of himself. The narrow minded ones mostly don’t have much exposure about the world outside his hometown. The other one lived abroad and comes back to make a fool of him by spending lavishly on unnecessary stuff and shows off. More specifically that’s a typical foreign returned malayalee. A good laugh of the typical NRI malayalee has been portrayed in a television series called “AKKARA KAZHCHAKAL”.  But that’s just for laughs, in real life it can be a pain.

The typical mallu feels earning a 6 digit salary, and owning 2 large bungalows and 3 or 4 cars and some estates and when getting married the girl should come with a heavy dowry mostly gold can make him happy, but are they truly happy? It makes them only greedy and not happy.  The trend is to be salaried in an IT company or to be employed in a foreign country and have endless wealth. People who has shallow thoughts are typical for me whether malayalee or not.

Another peculiar characteristic of many malaylees regardless of whether they are typical or not are they have very high personal hygiene but very low social hygiene.  A malayalee might take bath 2 times a day, but he has no shame in throwing all the waste from his home on the public road. 

We need not turn into racists or shouldn’t be too proud of ourselves. From every culture we have something to learn, instead of bad mouthing people who are different from us, why not try to inhibit from them their good habits and ignore the bad ones.  All malaylees including the typical ones have the potential to change. I believe when we change the world around us we change.

Recently I listened to Oprah Winfrey who was on a visit to India and she said good and bad things about our country. We have no discipline and it’s a chaos out in the streets but under all that chaos there is calmness and people have no rage against each other and they have genuine respect for another human being. Religion is not just talk; people actually live that way here. We do exude these positive traits; then why can’t we get rid of the negatives as well.

 Let us be kinder, simpler in living, high in thinking, have more heart and less hate towards all. Let us not misuse our rights and freedom. Let us not remain a typical mallu neither in thoughts words or actions.

The Selfish I

Aren’t we all, at least most of all a lil too sucked up in our own lives worrying, dreaming even probably fantasizing and working hard thinking just about our own life alone? I am not saying we are all brutally selfish who just think about oneself. But aren’t we as individuals worry only about our family, career, friends etc. There’s a world out there filled with people and problems which are way bigger than ours and our worlds.  I wonder how less we do for absolute strangers who probably mean nothing to us or who is no way related us from whom we don’t expect anything in return.

I  used to go out of my way to help people, but it was always with a selfish motivation of friendship.  For the less fortunate or what you can call as the under privileged people in our world, how less we all do. It is not just money I am talking about. May be spend an hour with them, share your knowledge. Open a new world to them, there so much more we can do other than give away money. I always wanted to get involved in some charity work, but have done very less. Of course in terms of money we all give probably via church or school or through any other means. But in a long time I have not really participated in doing something real for those people. I really enjoy doing something for them. I miss those rare times in my life where some of our batch mates from college went to visit mentally challenged kids in an institution near our college. The kids were not only adorable but also really surprised me by the kind of questions they asked and from their care takers we also learnt that they are capable of doing handcraft works and they sell it at shops. Isn’t it truly amazing to have such experiences in life? We think we have something to offer to these people and they end up enlightening us.

Nobody does anything for anybody for free anymore. People think of cashing in on every opportunity they get.  Don’t we miss giving something in free rather than just enjoying only the things we get for free?  No shopping festival in the world is actually giving anyone anything for free and we all know it, yet we all go buy unnecessary things we don’t even need just because we like the idea of getting something for free. Imagine if we could really give something for free to someone without any obligation how wonderful we can make the other person feel. Forgive a debt, let go off an ill feeling, give more than what you take from this world. 

We will never have enough to give after fulfilling all our desires. So don’t postponed the things you want to give, just keep giving and may be you will get that back. But we shouldn’t be worrying about that. Our job is to do the best we can for others and leave the rest to God. I am not saying serving your parents, or raising your kids or helping your spouse isn’t good enough. Of course charity begins at home.  Let us all find more time, money, willingness and love to give for others who really need it.

Rain Over Me!

I look up and I see the dark clouds twirling in the sky

My hair caught in the cool wind

I smile looking at the first drop of rain hitting the ground.

I am enchanted by the cool breeze that gives me goose bumps

I rub my arms to keep me warm, yet I like the rainy wind that hits me.

I take out my umbrella and the wind tries to snatch it away from me as if

She is calling me to play with her and I smile.

I walk on the sidewalk; water is flowing through roads like river

I wanted to let go and just dance in the rain.

The wind kept blowing strong making it difficult for me to walk

But I didn’t mind her playful ways, I couldn’t complain as I enjoyed her company.

Thunder doesn’t frighten me, and I continue to relish the down pour

 I walked under the shade of big trees that made me feel secure

 From the big splash of lightning that flashed across the sky.

I gaze into eternity holding a cup of hot chocolate watching the rain

Sitting on the cozy chair outside my balcony waiting for my love to join me 

I see kids who want to play come out smiling seeing the rain has stopped.

But she continues to cool the earth with her gentle blows of air.

At a distance in the playground I see pools of water calm, still and gentle

Small droplets making waves in perfect roundness that has no end

The soothing sound of droplets falling on leaves and from trees 

Brings back bitter sweet memories from my childhood of monsoon season

Rain brings the season of romance

A season for all to thrive, a season for all to enjoy and experience

Sometimes sitting on my office seat hit by the cold air from A/c,

Reminds me of the cool breeze during monsoon and

I almost think it will rain and urges to look outside the window,

Only to find out that I am not at home

Rain over me clouds; I want to cry out loud
 The rhythm of rain fall is missing from my ears

The dry land around me is thirsty for you

Rain over me sky; I want to relive those days

I feel barren inside like the land I am in

Rain over me Mother Nature, rain over me!



The Habit of Reading

From my early school days I have heard many elders complain that today’s generation doesn’t read. Well I was also someone who was least interested in reading until I started college. My sister is the reason why I started reading. She would bring novels home and slowly I also developed an interest in reading too.

As a student I never read outside my school syllabus. I used to find it very tedious and boring. Nothing interesting I found to read at school library either. May be I was not exposed to the kind of books that could have generated interest in me during school.  Even reading newspaper was out of the question. I was least bothered to know what was happening around the world. For me it was a time I concentrated on my studies and probably the only thing I was interested to read was Bible.  Outside these two, I was quite interested in dance and singing. So I thoroughly enjoyed those activities.

My Sources

Without reading I couldn’t have got exposed to various ideas. But reading books alone has not been my only source of knowledge.  Actually I have not read many books to gain knowledge.  I am sure many parents will object if I say watching TV had helped me to gain knowledge. Television like every other invention of man has its evils and virtue. But time has changed there was a time when TV was considered just a pastime or entertainment. Not anymore because of the advancements in technology. Television is a great resource to learn given you have access to some amazing channels like Discovery, National Geographic, History, BBC, CNN, TLC, animal Planet to name a few. I am great fan of TLC (Travel & Living Channel) because it is packed with shows that explore the life style, culture heritage and history of people living in different part of the modern world and the historic times. I find this channel very unique.  

The most widely used form for knowledge of the 21^st century is undoubtedly Internet. The most convenient factor of internet is you don’t have to go to a public library to search for the book that interests you or that you require to fulfill your need. It’s out there waiting for you to be extracted from the innumerable websites and the best part is that its free except  you either should go to a public internet café or should have internet connectivity and a PC at home. All the knowledge in the world is at your fingertips. The only drawback I see is that much information we collect over internet may not be authentic, but I cannot shun  from net due to that reason because the choice is vast and we can still spare time to find some authentic info for sure.

But there’s nothing like reading a book sitting near a lake the old conventional way in print. I enjoy  reading books held in my hands. It creates a sense of ownership that’s irreplaceable while reading from the softcopy. From any newspaper or magazine there are articles that interest me; for example anything related to nature, lifestyle, animals, celebrities, adventure, social issues, etc.

Few of my favorite novels are Nicholas Sparks’ Walk to Remember, The Note Book, and The Wedding. Chetan Bhagat’s 3 mistakes of my life, 2 States, John Grisham’s The Firm, and Robin Sharma’s Who will cry when you die? Harry Potter etc.

My dream

One of the biggest libraries in the word is The Library of Congress in Washington. It would be nice to visit that place sometime. Also I want to visit Shakespeare and company a small unique book shop in Paris started in 1919.

The Library Of Congress

I want to invest in books more. In the near future I have plans to buy the whole Harry Potter series. Then more of Nicholas Sparks, Chetan Bhagat and others depend on my interest.

I love reading. Though I have not been an avid reader in the past; I have picked up my pace. The most voracious reader I know is my friend Sruthi, who has several bags that can hold just books. Wish she was accessible to me to borrow few.

Development of Writing Skills

Reading has enhanced my writing skills. My initial writings were personal diary writing which evolved into poetries and articles due to the extensive knowledge or exposure I got through reading.

When I was in my high school had already started writing long letters to my sis who was doing her graduation in Kovai. I have always been a talkative person. So may be that helped me to write because the only way of communicating to my sis in her college during that time was through letters, not even phone calls were allowed. Once I joined for my plus two educations, I started writing diaries. Later in college I started reading and writing more. I believe the inspiration to write roots from the grief of losing my Dad.  The major themes in the short poems I wrote revolved around sadness or of bitter truths in life.

Writing diary was my way of dealing with the issues that was happening in my life soon after my dad’s death. I wrote about my pain, my anger and bitterness towards many people who were hurting me and my family. As a teenager I could not stand people who were not fair to us. I was angry with everyone who was trying my patience. I wrote about how much I loved my father. I cried writing them nights and nights. I wrote about how lonely I felt during those dark times. How hopeless and meaningless I felt. I kept writing diary till I graduated and went for my entrance coaching.

About 6 years of material I destroyed before I joined for my higher education in Bangalore, except one. Because I felt these things in my past needs a closure and must be burnt away from my memory without a trace. So I tore all the diaries and burnt them, praying that all my anger, pain and bitterness also be burnt into ashes.  The one I saved has memories of my final year graduation because I wanted to keep those memories intact.  Those were some of the best times of my life with my friends. The memories I shouldn’t and didn’t want to hold on I burnt. Though nobody told me how to deal with grief or anger, I recently read in a magazine that what I have done is the best way to manage anger. Write in a piece of paper whatever or whom so ever you are angry about and burn it away.

For me writing has been therapeutic in every sense.  It has helped to control my negative feelings in a health way and I have achieved the most from it because it has helped me to understand my issues and solve it effectively.  Once I write them down, I read them afterwards and have read it sometime down the line and it makes me realize how selfish I sound in some of my own lines, how immature and impatient and foolish I sound in some other. It read the highs and lows of my life. The moments were I felt relieved, relaxed, enlighten, joy, sorrow have been captured into those words.  

Though I stopped writing diaries long back, I continue to write poetry and more articles. I stopped writing diaries because I felt my life was not that interesting anymore to keep a daily account of and it sounded more like a routine book and I didn’t find much to jot down. Moreover, I thought it was time to wrap up; as diary writing has served its purpose and I no more needed that as an outlet to filter my struggles and confusions.  Also I felt whatever I have wrote down, half of it seemed later as gibberish which has of course helped me to become a better person.  I am not saying it was a waste of time.

People tend to discourage socializing as gibberish and wasteful in the name of discipline and productivity which I do not think is wasteful at all. All work and no play make jack a dull boy, right? Likewise, the things we considered serious at some point in past later we tag it as silly. But that has also helped us to shape who we are today. The small and silly things were equally important as the big and serious ones.

But I do miss jotting down at least those important things that has happened since I stopped writing diaries completely.  May be I should jot down at least those important moments I have enjoyed in my life and those critical things that have affected me positively or negatively. It is nice to read them down the line and recall the old times.

 What I Miss.

I terribly miss watching TLC. I wish I had invested more on books and these channels are really costly at where I am staying currently. I also miss people who read and have intrinsic knowledge in many common things. I have found very few people in my life who could give me company when it comes to talking about my interests. One is my sister and couple of my friends Sruthi and Kichu. I miss discussing with them variosu interesting facts.

I have come across many occasions where I think people might have misunderstood me due to their lack of knowledge rather than mine.  I can’t talk to men about various alcohol brands because they think I have the habit of drinking. Even if I do not have, can’t I still be aware of  it or what? Except how various drinks taste I could tell everything else from the different various brands to the color, how it is produced, the country of origin, to the distributing company’s name. In a world that’s full of information coming right into your living room; it is easy and shouldn't be surprising to anybody. I have been asked by my family members not to discuss about such things because others would misunderstand meand would think that I am talking from experience.This knowledge is not only for people who have had a couple of drinks, it is for all who has the ability to read. This might sound funny, but  it shows how badly people need to cultivate the habit of reading.

Sharing information is the biggest gift we can give others. And it can’t happen unless one reads. The world is full of mystery and who wouldn’t want to discover them.  I find that people lack sensitivity towards what’s happening around them. Nobody asks questions.  Growing up I have seen people isolate you for asking questions, teachers don’t like questions, and students hates questions. If I ask lot of questions, even my husband gets irritated. Parents get irritated because children ask questions that don’t have answers to. But all these shouldn’t keep us from asking questions. One day somebody will answer our question. In life we all pose questions to God. God always answers them sooner or later. Questions are good as questions are the key to discovery and knowledge.Great men in history were able to invent, bring social reform because they dared to question.

I miss writing letters to my friends, sending them greeting cards. Letter writing is history now. I  have a collection of letters send by my friends and cousins and few hand drawn cards back home in a small steel trunk box. Everyting has become virtual. There are no more letters or poetry exchanged by lovers, no cards given during brithdays and i miss those good old days. .

I think people should promote good readingand creative writing than syllabus education. Because just reading school syllabus is not enough. I used to feel what’s the big deal, what they are talking about. But once I started reading I understood. Learning is a continuous process. Everybody is a student in life till we all die. We keep learning and for that process to happen reading is must. Don’t let this habit die so soon. This habit is an asset for life, it’s a life saver.

Let us all cultivate this habit and be inspirations for the coming generations. Knowledge is power, knowledge is wealth and knowldeg brings health, prosperity and happiness. So read, read and read.

Preach Vs. Practice

 

I have had immense faith in My Lord Jesus Christ since a long time. But I may not have displayed it through my words enough to the world around me, not that I am ashamed of him. But I like to practice my faith and display it through my living than talk about it. Whenever I am reminded about my duty to tell others about my Christ, I have a small struggle inside. When I get a chance I always tell others how great he has been in my life. But to a non-Christian I have never opened up about my faith in my Lord. I don’t think I have a problem opening up to anybody about my faith, but I cannot simply tell them to follow my Christ for I believe, your faith has to come from within your heart and that won’t happen by just telling them to believe, they need to experience Christ in their lives. Our Lord is not a God who forces us to believe in him, but I am sure he would love his children to come to him voluntarily. But for that to happen I think I need to talk about him to others more often.

From my earlier childhood itself I have been exposed to many people preaching about my Christ but they fail living up to what they preach. So I have been put down by the idea of preaching because they don’t practice them. So I am afraid that if I also start preaching, people will write me also off as someone who talks a lot and has no actual faith to display.

I have always followed few things in life which I hope have helped others to see Christ in me. I hate lying and I always try to be honest with myself and others. I have this principle that I should be known for the right reasons. For me material wealth, fame etc. doesn’t mean much. I stand up for myself and I live without fear of anyone, but God. These values are reflection of my God and his teachings. I don’t think enough people in my life know these things about me and I have only myself to blame, because I don’t tell people enough. There’s one more reason to me being reserved about my faith, that’s because I don’t want to show off my faith. I know many who display their faith in order to achieve fame in the eyes of others. I don’t want to be numbered among those people. How can show people that I am genuine better than through my life? So I stuck to practicing my faith than preaching. But I think preach without practice is not good. How about practice and not preach? I guess that is also not good enough.

I somehow cannot make up my mind to stand up in a crowd and display my faith in huge loud cries or by running a parade or through elocutions after elocutions about his words. I would rather prefer to talk about him with a small group of willing listeners who genuinely want to know Christ and discuss with one another our thoughts. I am not cut out to hold debates among non-believers because to tell a non-Christian I am afraid they will despise me for trying to canvas them and I might lose them forever. I guess I do not have to follow that path instead I can tell people about my experience of Christ. And the best way to reach people at this point of time for me is through blog. And I guess I can write freely without being too conscious about it through writing. I think writing is my medium.

The Grooming:
Like many people who pin points a date and say, this is the day I have been saved and accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior and Lord in life, I do not have one. I was born into a Christian family and was raised as a Christian. I got the greater opportunity to study bible in several occasions over the 6 years I spend in my boarding school. Though I used to go to Sunday school from the age of 4 or 5, I was not regular in attending classes or going to church.

In boarding school, our days begin and end with prayers. If I take a typical day at the school, we (as if in me and my friends) had many occasions to read and mediate on bible; everyday morning devotion at 7am and 6pm. Then daily scripture classes at 9.30am. On Sundays, Sunday school is there as well as morning Sunday service at the school chapel. Also in the evening on Sunday we had sessions where we would be taught gospel songs and reading from bible and memory verse. We had quarterly scripture exams where we had to memorize 2 or 3 chapters from Psalms and coupe of Christian songs from the Golden Bells- a collection of English Christian Songs. It might sound like we all attended these out of compulsion, may be in the beginning. But I enjoyed it too. Especially these songs that we learn from our evening Sunday sessions, we get to perform during our Sunday 6pm devotion time and among the songs presented by each class, a winner is announced. During our 8th and 9th classes, on Saturday evenings, we spend time as groups studying a certified course called TAFTEE (The Association for Theological Education by Extension) that has 6 books which we classified the life of Christ in 6 divisions and we finished the course in 2 yrs. time. We did a course during our 7th via post called ‘Jeevamrutham’ can be translated as Eternal Life. But I couldn’t finish because of lack of time. Annually the school conducted bible quiz for each house and bible quest for individuals. Ample opportunities to learn several songs being part of the Christmas carol choir, practicing for the school assembly etc. Also annually The ICF (International children’s fellowship) group would come and conduct 2 or 3 days of bible camp where we are shown short films, bible classes are conducted, various new songs are taught. We all will be so thrilled and would not want them to leave. Such were the days that groomed by faith.

The Faith Test:
What I didn’t know was that my faith was going to be tested in the years that followed. At the verge of my 10th exams and passing out of school, the tragic sudden death of my father. I not only had to survive my dad’s demise, but had to survive my crooked relatives and support my mother, sis and myself. Life was tough then, but those days of my test have sure carved in me a beautiful human being. I sometimes ask myself, would I have been the same person if I had not stood those times of test? There have been times when I have asked, I had been a good girl before too, and then why God had to test me? I was never angry with God for what had happened with my life. I found comfort in his arms.

For the first time in my life, I really started feeling what is to truly believe in God. I tasted Christ in my life. In the midst of worry and hopelessness, I found hope and strength in Christ. When I afraid, when I got sick, when I had people conspiring against my family, when I had people pointing fingers at us wanting our destruction, I saw his hands and reached for it. If it had not been for him, I don’t think I would have come out straight. There were maddening times in my life, there have been times we almost felt like we would end up in the streets and no one would be there to care for us. I have learnt how to turn hatred into love, to truly forgive the ones who have wronged you, to support the weak and care for the needy, to love people without getting anything in return, all from my own home. It is easier to love the people who love you back. It is easier to return every good you have received. My Christ taught the world to love your enemies. It was not at all easy; it took me years to forgive the ones who have wronged me. With much time and patience I really understood my mother and learnt to be patient and giving. Every wound is healed by time. Everything needs time.

I remember it was very difficult for me to concentrate and mediate while I prayed. Even while my eyes were closed and sometimes not, my mind wandered off without any control. It is through my practice during boarding school that helped me. I have failed many times in my test of faith, I know. I was really angry with my mother. I held a grudge against my grandfather and my dad’s siblings for their ill treatment. I was short tempered and I had no patience whatsoever. But things started changing. My grandfather became ill and passed away, my uncle became silent and my aunts got busy in their lives and I felt peace in my house. To add to the joy, after several proposals my sis got married, I passed my MBA entrance and got enrolled to my choice of college in Bangalore. God blessed me once again pairing me with my life partner.

I feel immense peace and joy in my life today. That doesn’t mean that I don’t come across small issues in my life. Of course I struggle with certain issues even today. But my past has made me stronger. God has made me stronger, wiser to handle every issue in my life today.

Through each experience God made me wiser. But it was prayers and his words that comforted me through the valley of darkness. I felt many times when I was troubled he spoke to me through his words, showed me how he cared for me, blessed me, assured me with his promises, and loved me above all. Today I am enjoying the fruits of his blessings mercy and love. Every privilege I have today is because of my Lord Jesus Christ.

My life is my testimony to God. He has touched my life and it has never been the same. I have confessed all my sins to him and he has forgiven me and keeps me safe in his arms.


The Book:
The only regret I still have is that I am not able to pray and find to read and study bible regularly. Sometimes I feel that probably for everything God has set a time for, may be that’s why even after several attempts and trials I get distracted by the daily chores. But I am eager to learn bible even more. Each verse in the book is has so much depth and each time you read it, you find something new in them.

For many people it is a ritual to read few words from bible, but reading shouldn’t be treated that way. It is a book to be read, studied and mediated upon. It is food for soul. If you read it, you will understand that there’s nothing in it that can’t solve any problems in your life. It is an answer for all your issues. I once read an interesting mail about how we should treat our bible and it as follows:

 Bible vs Cellphones

1. What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?
2. What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?
3. What if we flipped through it several times a day?
4. What if we used it to receive messages?
5. What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?
6. What if we gave it to kids as gifts?
7. What if we used it as we traveled?
8. What if we used it in case of an emergency?
9. What if we upgraded it to get the latest version?


This is something to make you go, hmmm, where is my Bible? Oh, and one more thing. Unlike our cell phones, we don’t ever have to worry about our bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill!
To know Christ, we need to read the bible. I felt the best gift I could give someone to display my faith was the book itself, God gave me the opportunity to send it to 2 of my non-Christian friends. I hope they read it and come to know Christ. Come, read the book, know him. I urge you to read it coz once you read it you will understand that it is one book that not only makes perfect sense but also is something that talks about practical things. That’s all I have for you.